Being elevated from the ranks of plain ol’ alto, my voice teacher told me today that he believes I am a true mezzo-soprano. While crushing my dreams of someday being able to soar high above the rafters with the sopranos, my voice teacher told me that my low notes are very rich and my high beautiful. So I guess that’s a good thing…

Formal convocation (for me) was a wreck today. I don’t know what was going on but I was not doing well. I started out okay…although I accidentally substituted a ‘thou’ for a ‘you’ for some reason known only to my subconscious. Then….the pitch just went everywhere. I was all over the place and I could feel it, and then once I finally did get back on pitch I lost my ‘pause’ voice.

That was the worst performance I’ve done all year (they’re usually pretty good). I mean it had some great moments…..but it just went haywire. Of course I’ve been an emotional wreak lately…but I just need to get over that.

I’m angry with myself but at the same time I’m ok. I know what I did wrong…  And to be quite honest it was not by far the worst performance of the day.

I also got a reprieve. I wasn’t completely prepared for my flute lesson due to all of the drama around here I inadvertantly got sucked into, but Louise was sick today so I have until Monday to catch up. And then Thursday is juries!!!! AAAAHHHHHh!

I’ve never done juries before, and granted each time slot is only five minutes, so its not like they can grill me too much, but its still nerve-racking for me.

I’m also worried about my French final. I heard that last year’s was grueling, and it was a bunch of stuff from both semesters. I didn’t take the first semester of this class, so I’m really worried that there is going to be something really hard on there that I won’t know.

I need to start going over ALL of my conjugations NOW. And I need to review my old tests, see what I did well on, see what I did not do well on (last chapter) and fix it.

I’m hoping that my Jane Austen essay will go well.

Other than those I’m not worried. Acting For Singers, while being judged, will still be fun.

I need to get together a study schedule NOW, and I need to find some cardboard boxes or something so that when I move out it won’t be a huge ordeal.

Then I’ll just be moving back in in two months. (I move in about 3/4 of a month early for RA training.)

I guess when school is out I’ll look around Shelton for a job. If you hear anyone’s hiring will you let me know? I just don’t want to have to drive up to K-mart every day in Lacey.

I also need to get a list of everything I want to accomplish over the summer so I don’t waste it.

Today in voice lessons, my voice teacher told me that he really thinks I should consider majoring in music ed. I’m not oppose to the idea, I like teaching people…but I feel like I might not be able to keep little kids in line, and I don’t think I’m good enough to teach high school music. I mean, granted, that’s what classes are for, but I don’t want to be a bad teacher. I love teaching and I think it’s extremely noble and such, but I want to be good at it.

I don’t want to be a teacher who has a title and no respect, and who doesn’t teach anything.

I’ll have to talk to my parents and see what they think. Depending on where I go I’d probably be able to find a job, but I’m just scared because I don’t know how much teachers get paid, and whether I’d be able to afford housing and food and gas and clothes and necessities and all of that stuff and my student loans. Of course, I’d be better off than if I were trying to perform or something. Unless I ‘get discovered’ sometime really soon.

I don’t know, tell me what you think. I’m not sure what else I would do. I like the idea, but I’m just a huge worry wort. I also don’t want to be super behind because I didn’t start my Freshman year like everybody else. But how am I supposed to know what I want to do with my life when I’m only 18 years old??? Seriously!

I didn’t graduate high school with this huge plan all mapped out or anything, I haven’t even ever really been anywhere.

I think I’m going to go research teaching positions and incomes and requirements and such.

Wish me luck, pray for guidance, thanks!

Sincerely,

Emilie